This title/brainwave/inspiration came about when I suddenly burst into tears while listening to some sappy 70s love song that Jeremy was playing as we rolled around the bed one Monday evening.
In between my tears and my trying to gasp for air I muttered ‘you’re such a miracle in my life’, before going back to cry again. Not the kind of cry that came with a sting of bitterness, but the sort that made me all awww inside (and yet I couldn’t stop the tears from flowing). Jem was all sweet and understanding (and also probably used to such a sight). He kept stroking my hair saying ‘your tears are precious to me, it’s okay to cry’. And that made me cry even more.
You see, I never thought I would get married, let alone to such an emotionally sensitive man, who dotes on me, loves and embraces my independent self (some of my friends seem to think that once you get married your freedom is gone and you have to stay at home and be fully reliant on the man to feed you, pffft), challenges me and engages me on so many degrees intellectually and spiritually. He makes me a better person on so many levels.
And boy was it such a miracle that we are who we are today. Backtrack to three years ago, I was deeply insecure and deep in sexual sin, burdened with disappointment after 3 confessions to potential partners that I thought I could spend my life with, only to be rejected by them with most of them telling me that they treated me ‘like a little sister only’. I was crushed, deeply wounded and abandoned. I thought God had a great plan for everyone but me.
The turning point? I was deep in reflection some time at the end of that series of tragedies. If all the guys I liked didn’t like me back, there must be something wrong with them, I thought. Then, I started to ambitiously list a whole list of characteristics I hoped to find in my ‘dream guy’, hoping that I’ll never make the same mistake of falling for someone who didn’t make the cut and who would disappoint me again. Then, I guess what you would call a miracle happened. While writing these characteristics down, I realised that I should be the person that my ‘dream guy’ would be attracted to. For instance, if I wanted to be with someone who was a family man, why would a family man be attracted to someone who did not care about her family? If I wanted someone who was God fearing, would this person be attracted to someone who did not give too much of a damn to God?
It was then I saw the changes that had to begin with me and prayed for the grace to change. At that point of surrendering and praying for God to reveals the areas in my life he needs to chisel, Jeremy came along as a really good friend and our friendship started to blossom. When I decided to leave my future to the hands of God and focus on bettering myself for my future spouse, there God worked his magic and blessed me with such an amazing partner in my mission in life.
Jeremy, you’re such a miracle in my life. And I know I’ll never find another you.